Wednesday, January 12, 2011

No, Really, I'm a HORRIBLE Housewife.

Inserting adorable baby pictures, just to keep you interested:

OK, I feel like I should really start documenting some of my not-so-glamorous, horribly embarrassing, but still pretty hysterical moments of me trying to become an awesome stay at home mommy. You saw the birthday cake, right? Well, just know that stuff like that happens EVERY day!

I thought I had it all figured out that once I stayed home I would become the organized mommy I have always wanted to be. I blamed the chaos on me working full time, while John was gone 4 days a week. Ha. Confession: I am more disorganized than ever. Double confession: I had a housekeeper while I was working full time. Triple confession: I miss her.

So, here are just a couple of my glorious moments lately!

I really have been much better at making meals myself rather than (GASP!) frozen, boxed, or premade meals. Last night, I went back to my old ways for the sake of convenience. I put some frozen meatloaf in the microwave, made boxed (you can gag if you need to) 4 cheese mashed potatoes on the stove, and crescent rolls in the oven. It seemed just easy and I was thankful not to have had to brown the meat, cut the potatoes, etc. So, John came home right in the middle of everything getting done... I timed it all right at least... SCORE! I had pulled the potatoes onto a different burner, checked on the rolls, opened the microwave to find that the meatloaf was finished. I grabbed it, put in on the stove, turned around to get the rolls out of the oven when Hope starts yelling "SMOKE!" I had put the PAPER microwave meatloaf container on the burner that I had just taken the potatoes off of! What an idiot! It was burning, John moved it, giving me a "what in the world were you thinking" look, which hurt my feelings, because, seriously, did I mean to do that? No. Emmy was screaming because "OMG SHE'S NOT HOLDING ME!" John started asking me how much milk did I put in the potatoes, because, don't I know, you are supposed to put a very precise amount of milk in them? Which just really irritated me, so I took Emmy and sat on my bed and chilled with her for a moment so I could calm down without getting upset about a stupid frozen meatloaf. Which makes me giggle a little bit. I went to check on Hope, who was upset that there was fire/smoke in the house. I told her she was the hero for telling us what she saw, and that made her feel better. So, I go downstairs, when I realize that I never did pull the rolls out of the oven. :) Burnt. Awesome. Happy Tuesday!

And my favorite happening: A little back story first. Something I have done well is cutting out from our budget. Specifically our grocery bill. By more than half. Yay me! So now, it really bothers me to have to run to the store between my planned grocery store visits. So a few weeks ago, we ran out of detergent for the dishwasher. I googled for a recipe for a temporary replacement to try to get one more load washed before I went to the store. I found one online with some stuff we already had. As a bonus, it suggested putting vinegar in the Jet-Dry container in the dishwasher as a replacement for Jet-Dry. So I put some in.That night, I ran the dishwasher and John was trying to figure out where that awful smell was coming from. I told him what I had done. He was not impressed! Meanwhile, he was spraying down the counter top using a spray bottle I had just filled with vinegar to try as a cleaning product. Only he thought it was the usual solution we keep in that bottle. So there he was, complaining about the awful vinegar smell coming from the dishwasher, all the while spraying it on the counter tops as well without realizing. It was a snorting laughing kind of moment for me. Him, not so much. I did eventually let him in on the fact that there was vinegar in the spray bottle, too. So a few minutes later, in true John fashion, he makes up a song. The title of the song? "I Don't Care How Much the Jet-Dry Costs." He was belting it out, and I was laughing so hard I couldn't breathe. Fun times.

Anyone else want to share some of their less than glamorous house wife moments? Mom, do you have a meatloaf story you would like to share? :) Leave it in the comments.


sam said...

I can hear John singing now. And it makes me laugh. He has inspired many great songs. If it wasn't for him, I never would have wrote "Billy Was On Our Team"

Karen Cleveland said...

Oh Jill...your post always keep me laughing!! Being a stay at home mom is hard work! Good for you for even trying to cook dinner while John wasn't there to help with the kiddos. I only cook if Richard is here to watch the kids and keep them out of the kitchen. I just told Richard tonight that if we could ever afford it I would love for someone to cook ever meal for us...I HATE to cook! Hang in there--you are doing a great job, burnt food and all :)

Brian and Kerum said...

Nope, I am THE perfect housewife that NEVER does anything embarrassing like burning the last of the chocolate cookies, or loses sippy cups full of milk only to find them days later behind the bathroom door.

Also, MY house is always immaculate...just please don't show up at my door unannounced on any day in between Sunday and Saturday. :-)

Oh, and my kids are always clean as well...especially Colten. And no, that was NOT jelly on his face when he got out of bed...and it was most certainly not from the biscuit he had for a bedtime snack the night before.

I do have ONE flaw...I don't use coupons on a regular basis when grocery shopping. Here lately, it has only been when I can pull one off of the product that I'm buying at the store. :-)

Michele said...

From experience, I highly suggest making sure that you are not putting cinnamon in the taco meat instead of cumin.

Sarah M. said...

OMG, you are hilarious. I just found your blog. I am bookmarking it. This is the funniest thing ever. You are going to have one of those mega blogs one day!